WCC - Journey with God

why? I don't get it!

2012-02-24T17:09:00.000-08:00

So far this year I have understood most of the things I have read in the Bible which has been amazing as I feel God has really given me insight into things which were previously hard to fathom. But this bit about plagues we are currently reading in Exodus I just don't understand.

Essentially...

Why do things so often have to get worse before they get better?

Surly the Israelites suffered because of the plaques to some extent? I know some plagues did not touch or harm them, such as the one that killed livestock, however if there are frogs and water is turned to blood and so on, and trade is affected because of it and so on, not only are the Israelites suffering because of their slavery but also because of these plagues.

Why so often in life do we suffer, and just when we think it can't get any worse, it does?

Answers on a postcard... or just write in the comments box below or on facebook.

Ridiculously faithful

2012-02-22T12:28:00.000-08:00

So Exodus 6 and 7 once again sees ridiculous faithfulness. Moses is asked by God to talk to Pharoah in order that he might release the Israelites from slavery. Despite Moses' ineloquent speech, his age and the fact that Pharoah's heart is hardened, Moses still obeys God and goes to talk to Pharoah, not once but several times until something is done.
Moses could have laughed in God's face and refused to obey. He could have used his old age as an excuse to not do what God wanted. He could have got scared and run away. He could have looked at the extent of the situation and thought - 'no chance, this won't do any good'. He could have even looked at Pharoah and thought him too big and powerful. He even tried to use his poor speech as an excuse (excellent how God does't just call, He equips, seen through the use of Aaron as the spokesman). But no, eventually he 'did just as the Lord commanded' (Ex7v6). Beautiful.

What would have happened if Moses hadn't have spoken to Pharoah and obeyed God? Would the Israelites still have been in slavery? What would have happened to God's promise? Would it have been delayed?

Right now I'm faced with a difficult situation. Do I do the right thing, even though it seems ridiculous, or do I go with what I want, love, hope for, long for and have been fighting for most of my life even though it is wrong? Decisions, decisions. What about you? Is God telling you to do something that is seemingly ridiculous? Do you need ridiculous faith right now? Whatever the circumstances or situation, let's be a people who obey God against all the odds, who follow God's lead, who trust in Him, who believe that He knows best. Even when it is ridiculous. I mean let's face it. God is ridiculously faithful to us!

Bumps in the road

2012-02-20T13:31:00.000-08:00

So it's been a few days of ups and downs and highs and lows! I've been so busy that I've hardly had time to write! And, if I'm really honest my journey really has reached some difficult parts. Once again, I don't write about this for sympathy, I am literally writing my journey to hopefully encourage and inspire, and even look back upon and praise God for how He has been with me throughout the whole lot!

So basically I have definitely hit a few major bumps in the road. I am tired. I am fed up. I am miserable. I am unmotivated. I am exhausted from fighting. I have given up in places. I have made bad decisions. I have taken a couple of wrong turnings and I have sat down in protest on the path! I know this is all part of life. I know some of it could be avoided. I know other bits are a learning curve and part of God building my character. I know some bits are silly and the consequences of some poor decisions and actions on my part. But I also know that God is with me, that He will never leave me or forsake me, (Joshua 1v9), that I can cry out to Him and He will hear my cry and deliver me from all my troubles (Psalm 34v17), that He has good plans for me and plans to prosper me (Jeremiah 29v11), that if I hope in the Lord I will not be disappointed (Isaiah 49v23). And I know that no matter how hard the battle gets, the Lord will fight for me (Exodus 14v14). I am determined in this. I will get over these hurdles with God's help. I will overcome because in Christ I am more than a conqueror (Romans 8v37).

What about you? What do you do when you hit a bump in the road? What happens when things get tough and when you feel like you have lost your way? Who do you turn to? I am not perfect. Often times I have turned to the wrong things, looked for immediate satisfaction rather than long term benefit. Settled for second best. Made wrong decisions. But at the end of the day we must pick ourselves up and keep on fighting, knowing that God is also fighting for us and with us and in us and through us. He will keep us strong till the end (1Corinthians 1v8).

Now I know that sounds a bit blasé and a bit, 'yeh well, that doesn't apply to my situation or to what I'm going through'. But pause a minute. God loves you so much, He sent His one and only son to die for you. Do you not think He is concerned for you, or that your situation matters to Him? He loves you so much, with such a deep, unending, unconditional love that He will go to any length, depth, breadth and width to help you out. Just cling fast, and don't let go.

On a practical level, if you are hitting some tough times, what can you do? Now, I am not a counsellor, or a professional so don't want to ill-advise, but here are some things I've done which may inspire you:

- Pray! Pray, pray, pray! I talk to God about how I feel. I tell Him the ups and downs. I get angry at Him. He understands. He loves. He supports. Exodus 4v31 says that God is 'concerned' about His people. That includes you! I will not stop praying until I have an answer and know the way out. Even if it means folding my arms, sticking my nose in the air and refusing to listen for a time, or calming down before I speak to God, or whatever. Pray. God understands.

- Talk to a friend, someone you trust! If my friends are struggling, I want to encourage them, to carry them, to cheer them on. Talking helps. I know my friends want me to do the same. So I do.

- Refuse to believe satan's lies. Stand on the truth. Stand on the Word of God which is living and active and sharper than a double edged sword (Hebrews 4v12). What did Jesus do when He was tempted in the desert? He threw scripture back at the devil. Why do you think that Ephesians 6 describes the Word of God as a sword? Because you can fight back with it! Even if a verse a day is all you can manage. Even if you just have to say one memorised verse over and over. The Word is LIVING. That means it can act now, in your situation, it can change things, break things, move things, it is ALIVE!

- Have hope, even if it takes all of your strength to cling on to. Psalm 63 talks about 'clinging' on to God. Cling to Him! And in that know that God is not going to give you any more than you can bear (1Corinthians 10v13). Refuse to let your situation get the better of you! God is bigger!

- Know grace. Without excusing sin, we are all human. We make mistakes. We mess up. We go through hardships. We have difficulties. We face problems. God understands and God is FULL OF GRACE, 'slow to anger' and 'abounding in love' (Psalm 103v8). Allow room to make mistakes. Take it to God in repentence. Receive His grace and forgiveness. Do not spend hours beating yourself up. It only makes things worse. I really feel that many churches are lacking in grace. 'We are sinners and mess up, we need a saviour' is what we hear far too often. YES, that is true! But that is not the end!!! GOD IS OUR SAVIOUR, our help, our rescue, our ever-present help in times of trouble, our rock, our fortress, our strength, our comforter, our FATHER. He is full of grace. He understands! He is 'abounding in love', not ready to shout at you for messing up under pressure! We are NOT slaves to sin, we are free from it. 'It is for FREEDOM that you have been set free' (Galatians 5v1), not so that you can beat yourselves up and wear the weight of your muck ups around your neck like medals! LIVE IN YOUR FREEDOM. Yes we mess up, but yes we mess up in GRACE! Did I make my point clear.....!

Anyways, this was nothing like what I planned to write!

Be blessed.

Even in your hardships.

And read Psalm 18. It rocks!

I AM - not I'm not

2012-02-15T14:30:00.000-08:00

Just a quick thought that entered my head, in Exodus 3v14 God talks to Moses and calls Himself 'I AM'. Now I've read countless pieces (all very true) stating things like...

Do you need a healer?
God says 'I Am'

Do you need a friend?
God says 'I Am'

Do you need a comforter?
God says 'I Am'...

And so on. I was thinking upon this and I love it. Whatever you need - God can be (provided it is for your own good!) There is so much depth to God! However, not only this, but, do you notice that whenever God or Jesus (not getting into a trinity debate here, by the way) talk about themselves, they always say what they ARE, and not what they're NOT! I Am the Vine, I Am the Way, Truth and Life, I Am the shepherd, I Am the Son of Man..... How awesome is that? Neither do they talk about who they are in an ego boosting tone, 'yes, well I am the Way and I Am also amazing, wonderful, created the universe and look how great I am'. NO! They recognise and ackowledge and accept who they are, not who they are not!

Far too often we look at ourselves, and then to other people and think, 'wow, I'm totally not good at this, or I am never going to be as pretty as that, or I am not a fighter or I am not intelligent....' etc. Some of us may go as far as even saying 'well yes I am in charge of this in my job and I'm pretty amazing really, everyone loves me, I am this, this, this, that, and some more this'. We need to follow God's example in recognising and acknowledging WHO WE ARE, not who we aren't. And also accept it without ego. A fine balance I know, but an interesting concept to aim for.

No more looking at what and who you aren't and what you wish you were but aren't good enough to be... no let's start recognising, acknowledging and accepting who we are in Christ. Here are some useful starting points...

Romans 8v1-2 I am free from condemnation
Romans 8v28 I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances
1 John 5v18 I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me
John 1v12 I am God's child
Psalm 139v14 I am fearfully and wonderfully made
Isaiah 43:4 I am precious and honoured

Wow, two blogs in one day... aren't you lucky... perhaps the previous blog stating my lack of inspiration has been cured... perhaps God heard me! xxx

Forgiveness, and other things!

2012-02-15T09:09:00.000-08:00

Ok, several things to write today which are on my mind.

The first one is this. I've hit a bit of a crossroads in my journey at the moment. Do you ever get those times - there are roads leading off in all directions and you don't know which one to take? Then you think you know but you aren't sure. Or better still the one you know you should go down seems so much more dull and boring than the others. What do you do? Which way do you go? How do you know? How long have you got to decide? What happens if you take the wrong route - will you get back on the right path? Hmmmm. Any advice?

Secondly, nothing like a bit of attack to hinder your journey. I'm currently a bit uninspired and lethargic about my journey, and even the blog. Not that I don't want to do it or anything, but I think the 'novelty' is wearing off a bit and the excitement is fading. I know this is attack because it hit straight after I wrote the MOT blog in which I was quite open and honest. Then there are certain things which have gotten in the way of my relationship with God at the moment and which are trying to throw me off course. I know there are quite a few of you out there who read this, and who perhaps feel the same and/or have been through similar, so perhaps you would like to offer your advice to anyone feeling like this, or to share your thoughts, tips and testimonies to spur others on who might be experiencing similar. Let's be quick to 'mutually encourage eachother' in our faith here (Romans 1v12). There is a comments box below or you can write under the link on Facebook. (And please note, this is not intended as a search for sympathy for myself, it is so we can hopefully encourage eachother. Your thoughts and voice and opinions matter too.)

Thirdly, I LOVE today's passage in the journey with God journal Genesis 49v29 - 50v26. What a lovely story of forgiveness and love and grace...

50v15 'When Joseph's brothers saw that their father was dead, they said "What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrong things we did to him?"'....... v19-21 'But Joseph said to them "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don't be afraid, I will provide for you and your children." And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.'

HOW COOL IS THIS! After all that Joseph's brothers had done to him; beaten him, sold him as a slave, lied about it all to their father..., here is Joseph completely ready to forgive and love them. Joseph didn't say, well I'll only give you a little of what I have, and on condition that you kiss my feet and pamper me day and night. NO. Joseph whole heartedly forgave them and was free from any bitterness and anger. How many times do we hold grudges against people? How often do we forgive people on the condition that they do X, Y or Z? This is probably one of the most wonderful yet most difficult concepts in life - forgiveness. People hurt us, others hurt us REAL bad. We often don't want to forgive and live happily ever after until we see justice. Yet sometimes we need to for give our selves, our pride, our bitterness and our anger and just love and get on with it. I believe that praying for someone who has caused us a grievance can help too. The other day I was really angry at something and told God just how angry I was. I took a lot of my frustration and anger to Him in prayer, even telling him how much I was not going to back down and forgive this. The following day I got a text from the person who had annoyed me, and in an instant my bitterness melted and I even apologised for any grievance I had caused them. I haven't even thought about it since.

Sometimes the more we love and forgive, the more free we are, and the more we even provoke others to repent and seek forgiveness. Joseph's loving kindness to his brothers in giving them grain and looking after them during the famine led them to seek his forgiveness personally. What an excellent picture.

Finally, what struck me about this was the process that was involved. Can you imagine if Joseph had by chance bumped into his brothers a few days or months after they had sold him to slavery? I'm sure the story would be completely different. He probably would want to kill them or punch them or something. I know I definitely would. However, despite forgiveness often being a choice, I also think there is a process involved. Joseph needed to go through the process of time away, prison, promotion, service, responsibility and so on before he forgave. He probably needed to work things out in his own head and mature in character and faith until he was stronger in himself. Even when he first encountered them he didn't forgive them straight away. He sent them away with grain and a plot for their return. Who's to say that this wasn't all part of him buying time to reason with himself and the Lord and bring himself to a suitable position to forgive? Perhaps I am wrong, this is just a thought. So I think it's ok to recognise the process and the journey to forgiveness.

I'd like to finish with a link to this amazing video and song by Underoath which really inspires me to forgive and to seek forgiveness. Hope it works!

Chorus
Hey unfaithful I will teach you
To be stronger,
To be stronger
Hey ungraceful I will teach you
To forgive one another

Any thoughts, comments?

Never too unusable to be used by God

2012-02-13T03:41:00.000-08:00

A quickie today - and a cheat but I loved my Bible footnotes this morning from which I quote...

Genesis 48v8-20
'Jacob gave Ephraim, instead of his older brother Manasseh the greater blessing. When Joseph objected, Jacob refused to listen because God had told him that Ephraim would become greater. God often works in unexpected ways. When He chooses people to fulfil His plans, He goes deeper than appearance, tradition or position. He sometimes surprises us by choosing the less obvious person, at least by human reasoning. God can use you to carry out His plans, even if you don't have all the qualificationd.'

And to add, you are never too old - Jacob was still carrying out God's plans on his death bed! Keep being used by God and keep being open to Him using you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not conforming!

2012-02-12T16:23:00.000-08:00

It's been a few days since I've written anything - and to be honest I've had a bit of a crazy few days - mixed emotions over certain things, anger at others, growth in other areas... It has been a bumpy ride! Sometimes I think that's the journey that God can take you on, or life in general really. So here are a few snippets from the journey this week!

So Thursday saw me very angry. Yup. I'm not perfect. I get angry. Not that anger is always a bad thing, but this time it was. So I got a bit angry at certain things and probably had a few thoughts and maybe even said a few things I shouldn't have which I'm in the process of sorting out with God, but at the time I was mad at God, and some people.

Basically to cut a long story short, (and please note, in illustrating this I am not trying to offend, I have thought long and hard about this and have waited to blog, so that it is not written in anger but in love and self control), I got annoyed at some of my closest Christian friends for making me feel a bit unloved and forgotten about. I know this wasn't their intention, and it was as much me being tired and reading into something in a bad way, but I felt a bit let down. However, it made me think... Sometimes I let people down and forget about people. Sometimes I get so busy and so focussed on what I am doing that I forget to answer messages, call people up, spend time with people and check how they are doing. I am all for 'love your neighbour as yourself' but do I always do this? I guarantee that there are plenty of people in my lifetime who I have let down.

Further to this, (and please note I am talking about myself and not referring to anyone else), sometimes I get so focussed on my world and what is happening to me currently in my circumstances that I forget to 'think outside of the box' and remember those who aren't currently about. I forget people who I care about. I forget about important friendships I have up north because I'm now down here. I forget to ask after my friends in London because I am based in Watford. I know this is perhaps a little out of context but Romans 12v1-2 says 'Do not conform to the pattern of this world'. Now I know usually we rightly take this to mean that we shouldn't conform to 'the world' in terms of its love of money, views on sexual 'freedom', dog eat dog, getting drunk every weekend, etc. However is it possible to read this verse in terms of 'don't get so conformed to and ruled by and blinded by your own personal world and your own personal friendship groups and your own personal circumstances that you forget everyone who isn't inside that world right now'? We need to remember those people who we love, even if they are 100's of miles away. We need to build people up and make them feel loved and valued, even if they don't feature in our day to day activity. So come on, let's make an extra effort to love people today. Send someone a message you haven't spoken to in a while. Ask how someone is doing. Single people, ask your married friends out on a night out - it might be what they need and miss. Married people, don't just hang out with other married people, include us singletons too. Christians, stop hanging out in your Christian cliques and start asking your non-Christian friends out too.....! (Again, no offense meant to anyone - I'm voicing the sometimes left unspoken and just bringing some of these potential stumbling blocks to the surface... bear with me!)

Further to this, my thoughts went on like this... 'are we sometimes so busy doing Christian that we forget to be Christian?' I know I definitely fall into the former category at times. Leading a community group last year at times meant that I was so tired after a Wednesday night, that on a Thursday night I would rather be on my own and shut away from my non-christian housemates whom I love dearly. I was snappy with them, didn't have time to socialise with them and was sometimes rude to them. What kind of example and demonstration of love was this? No no no! I was so busy doing Christian stuff and thinking I was Christian, that I forgot to be Christian and live out my life as a Christian. Yes we all have bad days, yes we are human, YES do all of the amazing things you do at church or for the Kingdom - but don't forsake people because of it.

And finally. Today I read in Genesis 45 that Joseph, despite having been bullied, sold into slavery and forgotten by his brothers, upon meeting them again and finally revealing his identity, he was so grateful to have them back in his life that he wept, embraced them and provided everything for them and their families. Joseph could have been so angry, and he had every right to be! He was next to Pharaoh in terms of power. He could have had his brothers killed, imprisoned, tortured... but no he left aside his anger and loved. Caroline, despite not even having any real reason to be angry about, you've been told!

MOT - fit for the journey

2012-02-07T12:53:00.000-08:00

So I was thinking and praying and can't get out of my head about writing what I'm about to write. Probs a bit personal but if it blesses or encourages one person, it's worth it.

So obviously we've been looking at Journeys - particularly Joseph's journey over the last few days. And I was thinking about my own journey and thinking about where I was at. (I do think it is right and important at times to give ourselves a spiritual MOT or check over once in a while to make sure we are in good working order for the journey ahead and for God to use us).

SO, where am I at? Where are you at? Where am I in the journey of life? Where are you in the journey of life? Are we sprinting forward, walking fast, slowing down, speeeding up, crawling, at a stand still, on the side-lines looking in, being carried, walking backwards, facing the opposite direction, having a nice cool off on the side....? I actually think there are seasons and periods when we face all of these positions. Let me share some more of my journey...

So at the moment I'm kinda running quite fast in my journey. I'm in a season of intense blessing and I feel I'm running the journey with enthusiasm. It's almost like I've reached a mountain top and am running on a plateau in awe at the view and raring to see more. (I guess when we are in seasons like this it is important we don't take too long to look at the view and lose our passion and pace.) But at the same time, I'm unsure as to what is around the corner. Where am I actually headed? Where is the path leading?

Yet, my journey has not always been like this. Infact a lot of my lifetime has been spent in seasons of drought, of dessert and of valleys. During my teenage years I particularly experienced a season of very high highs and very low lows. I'd reach the top of one mountain only to find myself plummetting down at record speed to the bottom of a deep valley. I remember days, months and even years at a time battling with severe depression - a kind that prevented me from even walking without my legs aching, a kind that led to self destruction and a self esteem that was so low I never thought I would learn to love myself. In fact I was so low and had such a dislike for myself that most of my latter teenage years were spent with my mirrors covered in towels so I didn't have to see my reflection, and make up that was so thick and black that it hid my true self. I felt so chained up and like there was no way out. Praise God that He reached His loving arm down into my deep pit and rescued me. Now I often stick Bible verses to my mirror and rejoice that I am me!

' Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save' Isaiah 59v1
'If I make my bed in the depths, you are there' Psalm 139v8

There have been other seasons where I have been so angry and frustrated about life and my lot. I've experienced and been through things that no one should ever have to face. I've been so caught up in sin that I was completely lost - even turning around and walking backwards. I have been so far from feeling the freedom that Christ offers that I have cried myself to sleep on numerous occasions and written pages and pages of painful poetry which has enabled me to pour my inmost feelings out. And yet a lot of this was brought on by things that weren't even my fault that I had no control over. I was literally rolling around on the path of life, doubled over with inner turmoil and pain, and wailing to a God I thought didn't hear me. Yet God's grace was enough. His grace was sufficient. His power was made perfect in my weakness, (2 corinthians 12v9).

Again there have been other seasons of intense blessing. In my gap year I was priviledged to work with the Message Trust in Manchester for 5 months on their gap year programme and then spent 2 years doing their Eden project. I worked alongside the World Wide Message Tribe, the Band With No Name, Andy Hawthorn and so on, we saw kids being saved on a daily basis, God was filling me daily through His Word and through the teaching I was receiving. It really was a time of major growth and spiritual maturity. Yet even though there were these seasons of spiritual highs, there came with it almost a sense of invincibility. I had to work through a lot also. I thought I had made it seeing as I was now working with such reknown people. I also battled with legalism and was actually so chained up in the legality of my faith and ticking all of the boxes that I often felt like a failure and definitely felt unfulfilled.

Then there have been times where I just have no idea what's going on. A bit like the last few years really. I mean I've never really discovered the real reason I'm in Watford. I sense there is something huge on the horizon but I have no idea what. But instead of becoming apathetic and withdrawn, I keep pressing onward, keep walking forward, keep striving towards the finish line and keep my head up, whilst trying to obey God and follow His leading. Sometimes we have to go through seasons of walking blindfolded when we have no idea of where we are going. And to be honest, even during this season, the most amazing things have happened. I've gained freedom in so many areas I never thought I would. I've gained wisdom and patience, understanding and insight like I never knew before. I've learnt perseverance. I've learnt about being all things to all men. And it's wonderful.

In 2003 a man I didn't know prophesied over me saying that I was like an acorn turning into an oak tree. Not long after this, another two people prophesied over me saying I was like a caterpillar turning into a beautiful butterfly (hence my writer's and artist's pseudonym Caroline Papillon - aka butterfly in French). Just on Sunday Tim Roberts had a picture of an oak tree with its branches reaching far and wide and bearing fruit right to the ends. How good is God. And how cool that the original prophecy is being fulfilled! Although my journey has been long and arduous in parts - God has been there all along. Although there have been many difficult processes that I've had to work through - I have worked through them through the grace of God and grown into a strong oak and a beautiful butterfly. Don't get me wrong - I'm not boasting or bigging myself up, neither have I 'made it' - no - these are just illustrations of how amazing God is, and how He is true to His word. No matter how dark or deep or painful your journey may be right now, keep holding on to God. He will carry you when you need carrying. He will encourage you when you need encouraging. He will hold you when you need holding. He will run with you when you are running. He will backtrack to meet you when you are walking in the other direction. He will run to find you when you are lost.

Sometimes there are highs, sometimes there are lows. Sometimes there are hurdles, sometimes there are battles but God is with you all along. Mountain top experiences are awesome, but nothing grows on mountain tops because the air is so thin. Sometimes we need to be taken to the valley because it is where things grow. Desserts can seem barren and dry, but it is often where God takes us in order to whisper to us in a place which is away from the hustle and bustle of life. Drought is a horrible thing, but isn't it in drought that we seek the water more intently and intensely?

So where am I headed? To be honest I don't know exactly. But I know there is more because God hasn't finished with me yet. What about you? Where are you headed? Perhaps you don't know either but keep hoping, keep dreaming, keep believing, keep walking with God. 'Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith' Hebrews 12v1-2. For surely 'he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion' Philippians 1v6.

God bless you all - don't give up - there is so much MORE to come!!!!!!!!!

God can

2012-02-06T07:50:00.000-08:00

Mental how yesterday I was talking about not hearing from God, and then like literally He did not stop talking to me through people and through visions and pictures yesterday. SO cool.

Also amazing how Helen's talk at WCC was pretty much the same as my blog.... do you think God's saying something? Exciting times!

Anyways! Check out today's reading Genesis 41 - it is packed full of amazing stuff! Here are a few things that struck me..

1) Joseph didn't rush God or God's plan. I love how the Bible just says 'when two full years had passed'. Joseph was still in prison at this point, despite 2 years earlier, his hoping that the cupbearer who had been freed would talk to Pharaoh and get him released. It doesn't say anything about Joseph huffing and puffing and getting frustrated. He just seemed to live out his life to the full in the situation he found himself in. Do we do this? Further more there is no account of him pleading with the guard, trying to send letters to the Pharoah or begging for his own release. He knew God had a plan and he knew the wait was part of it. He just got on with it and waited on God.

It's easy for us to get impatient and to try and hurry things along when really we should just 'ride God's wave' and wait for Him to unfold and fulfil His plan. A premature baby often experiences life threatening difficulties at least in the first stages of life. A premature plan that has not been prepared and matured to it's fullness can often create problems. Let God carry you and unveil His plan as He does.

2) Joseph accredited everything to God. It probably could have been easy for him to say 'oh yes, it is ME who interprets dreams, come to ME and I will help you'. This was a God given gift that Joseph had. When Pharoah asks Joseph to interpret his dreams, Joseph replies in verse 16 'I cannot do it... but God will give Pharoah the answer'. How often do we take pride in our own capabilities rather than praising God for His giftings, and accrediting our abilities to God. This is where pride can set in. Now don't mistake me, there is a fine line between accrediting things to God and being joyful about it, and thinking you are worthless and incapable of doing anything. NO, we must give God praise for our giftings but also stand on the promises of who we are in Christ. I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made, but I also know that God is my Creator. I don't go around hanging my head in shame like a low self-esteemed cripple. Neither do I hold my nose in the air and think I'm better than everyone else. No, I hold my head up in praise and thanks to God because He made me who I am. I hope this makes sense!

3) To my knowledge Pharoah was not a believer in the same God as Joseph, yet God was still speaking to him through dreams. I strongly believe God can speak to people and use people despite their lack of faith or belief in him. I am a strong believer that we should use people's God-given giftings and talents before they are believers. Why waste what God has given people? SO yes, lets have non-christians in our worship bands, let's involve non-christians in our cell groups and let's give them a voice. I know this is a controversial subject, but what are we celebrating? Someone's ability to say yes I believe in you God and join the 'us and them club' or are we celebrating and utilising and recognising God's generous gifts and the fact that he loves people so much that even 'whilst they are sinners' He can use them? Thoughts and comments appreciated!

4) Joseph obeyed God. He remained faithful to Him even in prison. He could have said 'oh no I gave up interpreting dreams because God stuck me in prison'. But he didn't. He remained faithful and true and obedient. And because of this God gave him authority, power and dominion over the storehouses of Eygyt! How cool is that. Let's be obedient, even when it hurts, and let's see just what God can do!

5) Finally, it took Pharoah a lot of guts to believe Joseph's interpretation. There was no sign of a famine, so why should he save for one? It took faith to believe Joseph, and be obedient to God even when it seemed like a ridiculous idea. Storing up barnfulls of grain would have looked stupid during so many years of plentiful and abundant harvest. Yet I learn two things here. 1 - Trust God and remain faithful even in the most ridiculous situation. 2 - Let us be so faithful and true to God, that even 'non-believers' or our employers or our friends see this and trust our God too!

What amazing thoughts for today!

Bear with it like the cupbearer

2012-02-05T02:26:00.000-08:00

Part 1

So today, I really felt like God hadn't spoke to me personally in a while. I felt somewhat sad and distant from God. Just because I write this blog, please don't think I'm there and I've made it and I am always hearing from God. I'm not. And this is my journey of that.

Anyways, I like to picture God as loving us so much that He is often bursting with things to tell us, if we would just sit down and listen. So I confessed any sin that might have been in the way of Him speaking and asked Him to talk to me. He showed me this:

I had just made a cafetiere jug of coffee and taken water out of my kettle to do so. (Stay with me on this, I know this is from God - especially seeing as my homepage was advertising a kettle as I opened up my laptop to write this). God said that often we can use up what is within us to bless or make something useful, productive and even better. I had used up water from the kettle to make a really nice cup of coffee. This is good and far tastier than boiled water. He then said that actually we can leak or use up what is within us for pointless purposes and for things that are not useful and which will just drain us. I will now go and refill my kettle to make another cup of coffee, however if I was to just pour the water over the floor, it would be pointless.

Let's use our giftings and our inner resources positively and for useful things and not waste them on meaningless things that are not beneficial to anyone. Hope that makes sense.

Part 2

So I've been very blessed by the story of Joseph so far in Genesis. I can't wait to hear more at WCC over the next few weeks, but here is what has struck me so far.

Joseph had a journey. He went through seasons. He went through seasons of having favour with his father and enjoying an amazing, intimate relationship with him. He went through horrific seasons of being bullied by his brothers. He was sold as a slave and put in prison. Yet all along, regardless of what seasons he was in, he kept on trusting in God and believing in God's way and God's purposes. He never gave up. Genesis 39:23 says 'The Lord was with Joseph and gave him success in whatever he did.' Joseph followed God and trusted Him even through the hard times. And even in those hard times, Joseph was successful.

Do not think that all is lost and wasted because the season you are in is difficult. God is still with you, and God can still grant you success in these difficult places! Keep following God, keep trusting Him.

Neither did Joseph give up or let his past prevent his future. He kept on going, kept on trusting and kept on believing for more - even when the chief cupbearer who was reinstated forgot to remember Joseph to the Pharaoh. This was probably the biggest blow - Joseph sat waiting to be released, yet was forgotten about and left in prison for 2 more years! Did that stop him? Did that stop him trusting in God? No. It just made the story even more amazing, it meant that he was handpicked by Pharaoh, that Pharaoh chose to turn to him rather than just something based on heresay or word of mouth.

God is with you in the difficult seasons just as much as the joyful ones. Do not let your current situation prevent your future. Again, keep dreaming, keep expecting and praying for more. Keep truting and following God. Never give up. There is more.

In the net

2012-02-01T15:19:00.000-08:00

Following Sunday's amazing vision night and thinking about the whole net illustration, and something Tim spoke about a few weeks ago I have been really thinking over the fact that 'the closer we are to God the closer are friends are to God'. This is something which has really impacted me and made me think.

Let me share a couple of things (I REAALLY hope I don't offend anyone and am not mentioning names, but I hope these stories illustrate a few points)....

The last couple of weeks I have really been trying hard in my relationship with God. I've been attempting a quiet time every day and even making the effort to get up early to read my Bible and pray before work. The journal has really helped me to focus on this better. I have also been praying more about certain things and just generally tried to stop being so lazy and make more of an effort. I am trying to give God the start of my day rather than the last dregs of a busy day which consist of reading a Bible passage to tick the box and saying a quick one line prayer whilst turning the light off and going to sleep.

However since I have been focusing on praying more, spending more time with God and actually making an effort, some amazing things have happened. A close friend who I value a lot collapsed in work this week and was rushed to hospital with some sort of virus in his heart tubes (forgive my lack of technical vocab). He is not a Christian, however this incident and some amazing answers to prayer have been a real eye-opener to him. He came to church for the first time a few weeks ago and also, during his scare, even prayed himself.

Another friend emailed saying how much he had been blessed by this blog, and although he wasn't a Christian, he had really taken some positive stuff from it.

My work has massively improved and I was graded 'outstanding' after a lesson observation today. Praise God for my work and influence within this area, and the number of boys lives I am hopefully impacting merely through following God's calling for me to teach and for placing me in this area.

So I was thinking that perhaps, and in line with the 'net' illustration we were shown on Sunday, if we are on a higher level of intimacy with God, then perhaps this also influences our friends and in a way 'pulls' them up to higher intimacy and brings them into a closer place in relation to God. If we are linked to our friends, like the links in a net, and if we then pursue closeness with God, then does that mean that we bring our friends closer to God also? Not that they should live out their faith through us, but still, you get the idea. Some good thinking.

Secondly, I was reading about Jacob in Genesis 25 and how God renamed him Israel. Now, little did I know but Israel means 'he struggles with God'. Now, forgive me if I'm wrong but wasn't Jacob/Israel one of the biggest influential leaders of the Old Testament? Was the name Israel not given to a whole nation? And yet it denotes suffering? This absolutely made my heart leap for joy when I read this.

WE DO NOT HAVE TO BE PERFECT TO BE USED BY GOD AND TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE! It's ok to struggle. God can still use you. Your struggles do not prevent God from moving in your life, working through you and using you for His glory and in His plans! Just look at Jacob.

So, no more thinking you are too useless to be loved or used by God. NO. God uses the strugglers and the weak and the seemingly 'inferior' people to make massive differences just as much as anyone else. Let Him use you today!!!!!

Orphans and widows

2012-02-01T15:02:00.000-08:00

Ok this is a random blog - I wrote this some time ago, but I have not been able to think about blogging anything else until this has been posted. I hope it blesses someone!

'This is a thinking process in progress. It is only something I'm pondering over - not gospel truths necessarily so I don't mean to offend anyone in the process.

James 1:27
'Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.'

What does this mean? Who are the orphans and widows we need to look after? I don't particularly know many of them, and I don't know where to start looking. Yet why this command? I don't get it.

For ages I have been pondering over this command. It has been on my heart for a while now. I have been praying and asking God to show me what He means by this. And then BAM, yesterday when reading 'I Am your Father' by Mark Stibbe I had a revelation.

So what is an orphan? An orphan is a child without a Father (and mother).
What is a widow? A woman bride without her husband.

Upon thinking this over, I came to realise that a person without God (i.e. a non-Christian for want of a better word), is a person without their Father - God. In other words we might consider them to be an orphan.

In addition, if Christians form the body of the bride of Christ, a non-Christian is therefore not a bride or part of the body of Christ that is referred to as the bride, and is without a husband i.e. God. So that makes them a widow.

Therefore, in stating we should look after orphans and widows, is this meaning we should look after anyone who is not a Christian?

How quick are we to judge? How unaccepting of others who do not believe what we believe are we? How many times do we criticise non-believers, or bully them into adopting our way of thinking. We are told to 'look after' them. When was the last time you looked after or looked out for a non-believer as opposed to only looking after Christians. When did you do something for a non believer - clean their house, wash their clothes, buy them coffee, listen to them, give them a call.

There is a dying world out there and it is up to us to do something about it.

Let's look after the orphans and widows of the spiritual world - the fatherless, the needy, those who do not know Christ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please help me to do the same!!!!!!!!!!

Just a few thoughts.'

For such a time as NOW...!

2012-01-29T07:27:00.000-08:00

Well today Mr John Graham spoke at church and had some very good points to make indeed. He spoke about Joseph and how he was sold into slavery by his brothers, and ended up being in prison (read the full story in Genesis 37). Let's think about this. Joseph. Slavery. Prison. That's definitely not much to make someone cheerful or full of the 'joys of the Lord'. What the heck was God doing, particularly when it had been God who had given Joseph some of the dreams and visions and ideas which had got him into this situation in the first place? Joseph had two choices. He could sit there all miserable, sad, angry, disappointed and disillusioned, or he could choose God, believe His promises and live out the calling God had upon his life there and then, in that prison cell. And the latter is exactly what he did. To cut a long story short, he ended up in high places, had favor with the Pharaoh and was put in charge of the store houses during the famine later on. How excellent, and what a good man!

So it's no surprise that I often don't like being here in Watford. It was never my plan to come here in the first place. I miss my family and my friends. I miss the sea. I miss the pace of life, the culture, the quirky little shops and villages, the accent, being able to speak properly in my real accent without having to speak 'posh' so that people understand me..... (teehee I am teasing). I get miserable about it quite a lot I suppose. I get frustrated and I don't always know what the bigger picture is. Yet, like Joseph, I know God has a calling on my life. And, like Joseph I have a choice to make. I can either sit here all miserable and angry and hide in a little hole until I am able to move back (if I move back!), or I can live life to the full here and now, live out God's calling on my life, get involved, do stuff, live life to the full, live in the fast lane, be excited, be challenged, be changed, enjoy my life down here... So I do. And it's wonderful. It's also really flipping hard at times too! Don't get me wrong, I'm not always happy about having made this choice, and there are days when I am miserable and sad (it's been particularly tough so far this year actually), but at least I try. Because I know God has a purpose, He knows the bigger picture, He has a plan for my life and it is a good plan. He brought me here for a reason. He has carried me down to this bedroom, in this house, working in this particular job and being part of this particular church for a reason. I don't always see it. I don't always understand it, but I believe it. I don't understand how my microwave works, but I press a button and it heats up my food.

You know, I'm sick of waiting for the perfect time and the perfect place and the perfect location to do stuff. I'm sick of waiting for my book to be published, so I started writing a blog instead. I got fed up of flowery worship songs, so I started singing because I believe God wanted to make a difference and stop me sitting around and complaining. I was annoyed at there being no 20's age group venue at Spring Harvest at few years ago, so I sorted out a meet up in the coffee shop and over 25 people came some of whom I am still friends with years later. Now is the time. There is no time like the present. We are here for 'such a time as this' (Esther 4:14). Even if you are not sure what it is God wants you to do, do something, set the ball rolling. I'm sure Joseph didn't expect to be interpreting Pharaoh's dreams when he started interpreting his fellow inmate's dreams - he just started somewhere.

I guess as John said this morning, the engine might be running but we may be in neutral. Now is the time to stop being in neutral and to move up a gear. Let's stop waiting around for the go ahead and just go. Let's stop waiting for the flag to go down and start the race. With God. Knowing He is with us. Even Jacob was scared when he had to face his brother Esau again after taking his birthright (Genesis 32). He was afraid that Esau might kill him. But he clung to God's promise knowing that God had vowed to make him a great nation. Cling to God's promises and His calling in your life today. Keep going. Don't be put off by fear. Journey this with God and never walk alone.

Mild wanderings

2012-01-25T11:02:00.000-08:00

So, I'm not sure what to write about here. But I feel the need to write so bear with me as this unravels. We've been looking at Jacob and Esau and how Esau traded his birthright for immediate gratification rather than longterm benefit. We can also fall into doing this and I definitely think there is a warning here. Here were some thoughts I had on this...

1 - Do not settle for second best in pressured times and risk losing everything
2 - Consider the consequences and the long term
3 - Do not give in to the pressure of the short-term distraction - God is our sustainer - look at the bigger picture
4 - Can these situations be avoided in the first place i.e. yes, Esau was famished from working out in the fields and let his hunger be his priority - so much so that he gave away his birthright, however could this have been avoided? Could he have been sensible and eaten earlier? Yes some situations are unavoidable, but can some be prevented in the first place by being more cautious, taking extra care or by forward thinking?
5 - Are you in a good and strong enough place in your relationship with God to stand up under pressured situations and not just settle for short-term satisfaction?

So, moving on from here, in Genesis 27v41 we see that 'Esau held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing his father had given him'. Well duh Esau, you gave away your birthright in the first place! What did you expect? I couldn't help but feel sorry for Esau having been under pressure and making a silly mistake that cost him so much. But at the same time I also felt a bit unsympathetic towards him seeing how he had just given his inheritance away so freely. Sometimes we do make bad choices. Sometimes there are reasons for this such as being under pressure, other times we just give into temptation. So what happens when a while later we find ourselves reaping the consequences? Here are some ideas...

1 - Unlike Esau I really think we need to work through those 'grudges' against people. Bitterness can take root and be hugely damaging so we need to ask for forgiveness and let God work in us through this.

2 - If we have made a bad decision, we may need to ask God for forgiveness for this also. It may not make the situation change automatically but if we have been wrong, not asking for forgiveness may prevent us from moving on, living in fullness or accepting certain situations.

3 - Instead of looking at what we don't have, look at what we do have. Without going into detail, part of my move to Watford was a bad decision. Part of it was unavoidable, but part of it was definitely a bad decision. The consequences can be hard. I get very lonely and homesick at times. I get angry at having to live so far away from family and friends and frustrated at my decisions. However at the same time, I've made amazing new friends, found amazing family at WCC, grown in character and strength, done things I would never have had the chance to do and made a difference down here, not to mention succeeded in my career and finally got my head around the London underground! Yes, you may have made bad decisions but I guarantee none of them are too bad for God to work in. Perhaps a change of perspective may be in order to be thankful for what you do have, rather than dwell on the past and on what you don't have.

4 - Finally, I believe in a great, big God who is bigger than the worst decision we can make, who is the Author and Perfector of our faith (Heb12:2), who's arm is long enough to reach down into the deepest, darkest pit we may have dug out for ourselves ('surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save' Is59:1), and who is able to restore us, bring peace, comfort us and walk with us through every step of life - the good, the bad and the ugly.

So as I 'come in to land' (heeheehee - Tim I know where that came from), I'm sure we have all made bad decisions and have faced consequences at some time or another. Perhaps you are experiencing some of these now. I guess we have a choice to make. Do we let those bad decisions rule the rest of our lives and end up with nothing, or do we give them over to God and ask Him to be with us as we journey through the rest of our lives?

And as a final thought. I LOVE this verse in Genesis 28:15 in which God says to Jacob (who by the way was a liar and a cheat yet became an amazing man of faith and carried on the promise of Abraham, possibly because he chose not to dwell on his failures but rejoice in his future)...

'I am with you, and will watch over you wherever you go... I will not leave you until I have done what I promised you'.

***Thoughts and comments much appreciated - these are a little thin on the ground so PLEASE share your ideas...***

Keep dreaming and live out your calling!

2012-01-22T06:55:00.000-08:00

So Jacqueline preached an amazing preach this morning - so proud! Yay. Basically, (if I'm right, and in short) it was about Nehemiah - and how, despite being an ordinary man he didn't keep quiet, but stood up for what God told him to do and made a massive difference, letting God do extraordinary things through his ordinariness.

So God puts desires in us, places callings upon our lives and gives us deep rooted passions and desires to do things and stand up for things. It got me thinking, because I know I've been called to more. I have desires, dreams, passions... I want to do stuff and make a difference... Here are some examples...

- I want to make a difference through my writing
- I have a passion for the alternative, rock, goth scene and want to see them know God - so much so that I often cry when I think about this
- I want to see captives freed, and a binding up of the broken hearted
- I want to publish my God-inspired book and bless 1000's of people through it
- I want to see huge festivals with crazy rock music, and preaching and 1000's of crazy rockers coming to know God
- I want God to use me to bless people everywhere

Now I know this is a lot about 'me' and what 'I' want to do, but I believe these desires have been put there by God. And it's not a selfish thing, it's a God-given passion.

So often it's easy to have these desires and passions and not see them coming to life, so we give up. We have these dreams and desires, but they seem so far removed from reality that we ignore them and bury them. It's often easy to doubt ourselves and think that we could never do something like this. WRONG!

Psalm 20:4 says 'May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed'.

Ephesians 3:20 says that God can do 'immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine'.

Philippians 1:6 says that 'He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion'.

Isaiah 55:11 says that God's word, including His promises and what He says we should do 'will not return to (Him) empty but will accomplish what (He) desires'.

2 Timothy 1:7 'For God did not give us a spirit of timidity , but a spirit of power, love and self-discipline'.

GUYS! It is so easy to become dispondant when we do not see things happen. But God will fulfill His promises. It is easy to give up on what He has said and not believe it. It is easy to believe that the task is too large for us so we ignore it.

STOP! Let's stop doubting God's strength in us. Let's stop procrastinating. Let's stop avoiding the calling. Ridiculous as your calling might be, there is a reason and a purpose for it. Do not withold God's blessing from others because you are too afraid to step up and do what He has said. Come on! Do not hold back!

To illustrate some of this, let me share a bit of my journey... For years I knew I was a bit different. I knew God had a strong calling on my life to be part of the alternative scene and make a difference. I loved rock music and I loved dressing in the 'rocker' style. I battled with this for years because so many people hated it - even my mum who liked to constantly remind me as a teenager. I wasn't 'normal'. I didn't wear pretty dresses or listen to 'acceptable' music. I got refused communion once in church because I have tattoos and piercings. It was a daily battle. Did I conform to the world or did I do what I believe God was calling me to do? Did I stifle who God had created me to be, or did I boldly live out what He wanted me to do? (Now don't get me wrong, I don't always make the best choices, and I know there are opposing opinions on tattoos, piercings, etc - this is not the argument here, I am just illustrating a point...). All of this negativity, being laughed at for what I was, being rejected and looked down upon, being told how awful I looked and being 'socially unacceptable' got to me and led to years of low self esteem. Things didn't look good. But I could not deny what God had called me to do and what He had created me to be. I refused to 'conform to the norm' to please man. I wanted to conform to God.

So I reached a point where I had to decide. Do I go with the world's view of what I should be, or do I continue, battle on and be what God wants me to be and make a difference. To be honest, the desire was too great in me to not follow option 2, so I carried on being the crazy, tattooed, rock loving, head-banging, metal-loving, outspoken person you all know (and love) today. No it isn't everyone's cup of tea. No it isn't always 'socially acceptable'. Yes I get it wrong. But in addition yes, I am 'God's cup of tea', I am acceptable to Him, and He loves me exactly as I am. Not only this but I can live at peace with God and myself knowing that I am following His will. It has been a long journey. I have had to learn the hard way. There are certain things I have had to avoid/do/overcome/accept/put up with/modify and so on to ensure I am living as God wants (such as cutting up 200 CDs one day because of the negative impact they were having on my life, and also refusing to wear certain clothing with bands that advertise bad lyrics, etc). But I am SO happy to be me - the me God created, the me that isn't stifled by society, the me who makes a difference.

And let me finally share some of the positives that have come from this - and I emphasise, not because of me, but because of God in me, using me, working through me and living out His calling in me...

- I have been able to relate to and form friendships with 100's of 'alternative' people Christians and non-Christians alike (people who otherwise I would not know and who I may not have been able to impact)

- I have seen people commit their lives to Christ through these friendships and relationships

- I have overcome a huge amount of personal issues, self-esteem related problems and vastly grown in my acceptance and knowledge of who I am, so much so that I have written a book based on this (still needing completion) and been able to bless loads of people

- I have had the most amazing conversations with people in the 'alternative' scene and been able to offer them hope, guidance, wisdom, prayer

- I have been able to network, facilitate ministries, put people in contact with other people, enable progress in the Kingdom of God

- I write for a Christian rock magazine - in which my first article had over 62,000 hits and blessed a lot of people

- I have been to gigs and concerts and prayed earnestly and fervently for the darkness to leave and for God's spirit to reign

- I have had my art-work displayed in London at an alternative festival and been able to share the gospel through this

- I have hopefully challenged and broken down some of the stereotypes and negativity from Christians and churches towards this 'alternative' scene and acted as a bridge between the two

- I have been allowed to write this blog

PRAISE GOD.

Now can you imagine if I hadn't have gone with God and ignored His calling? Would all of this had happened? Would so many people be blessed? Would God have been able to work as much as He has? Would I be the person I am today?.... I doubt it. And this is just the beginning!!!!!!!

So come on guys. KEEP DREAMING. KEEP HOPING. KEEP LIVING IN GOD. PUT YOURSELF IN THE RIGHT PLACES FOR GOD TO USE YOU! DO NOT STIFLE YOUR CALLING OR WHO YOU ARE. Even when it is scary. Even when it is hard. Even when it looks bleak. There is more.

Be blessed.

A difficult path

2012-01-21T02:35:00.000-08:00

So, Thursday's passage (Genesis 21) was fairly difficult. God fulfills His promise to Abraham and Sarah and gives them a son. Difficult? How so? It's a miracle! Well, yes, it is. But when God has promised you something yet there is still no sign of it being fulfilled I guess this could be difficult to accept and rejoice over.

I don't mean to complain or water God down, or dumb down this AMAZING piece of scripture. However I am being honest. And sometimes being honest means that instead of smiling and nodding it's ok to admit that actually some scripture is difficult to take in, act upon and accept. Sometimes the journey gets difficult. We take longer to accept things and let them infiltrate our minds and souls. Some bits in the Bible are difficult. And whereas I skimread this passage, because I found it difficult reading about God fullfilling His promises when there are certain things still unfulfilled in my life, I am hoping that as I progress in my journey and grow, I will soon not be so troubled or angry or frustrated. (And I know and fully accept that God has a perfect plan, His timing is perfect, He knows best - that's not the issue and I am so glad that He does. I'm just saying that sometimes within that, the waiting can be hard).

But how amazing - God UNDERSTANDS! God knows when bits of our journey are hard. He knows when the next steps in our journey are difficult ones and may take longer to take than others. He knows when we would rather take a step back into easier times than journey on when it's tough. Psalm 103v8 says 'The LORD is compassionate and merciful,slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.' How amazing is that. God isn't angry that today your journey may be tough. He doesn't get angry that you may be annoyed or frustrated or impatient about certain things. He is compassionate! Full of love! Understanding! Patient....! Yes we too must not give up, yes we need to carry on with the Lord and work through these things, no we cannot live in anger and frustration and resentment forever, however God IS with us as we are working through these things, helping us, catching us when we fall, comforting us, encouraging us, walking with us through the PROCESS as we PROGRESS... What good father expects their child to walk straight away and get it right first time? No, a good father knows these things take time and patience and are a continued process. Our heavenly Father knows these things too!

Give your worries to God today. Tell Him when the journey is tough and don't be afraid to admit it. He will help you through.

Past and Future

2012-01-17T14:00:00.000-08:00

Ok first up, I'm loving that so far this year God seems to be speaking to me through His Word abundantly. It's like I've never read some of these passages before and am like 'woah, that's so cool'! Even the smallest of verses are jumping out at me, sometimes even when the rest of the passage doesn't. Thats good right? When I ask God to speak to me He's almost like, 'I'm not saying anything till after you have read my Word'. It's like He's trying to get me into it more. Cool.

So today 2 things struck me. Gen 19v16 - Lot 'hesitated' when he was told to flee Soddom. Well yeh, wouldn't you hesitate if you were told to leave your hometown and flee, even if it was to better places!? I think it's ok to hesitate at times - God understands. We are human. He allows our will to catch up with His at times. God didn't send a lightening bolt down on Lot for hesitating. He was patient. Like He is with us. Praise the Lord. Although I do think that sometimes we need to act, rather than dilly dally - it could have bad consequences.

Secondly, I was reminded of not clinging to my past, and to the things that are behind me. Doing that could prevent me moving forward in God's will. Lot's wife looked back at the past instead of pushing forward to what is ahead, (Gen 19:26). She turned into a pillar of salt! I summed it up (with the help of the Life Application Bible) in these words which I will conclude with...

'Don't cling so much to your past that you prevent God from moving you into your future.'

Is anything too hard for the Lord?

2012-01-16T07:26:00.000-08:00

NO!

Genesis 18:14 says this 'is anything to hard for the Lord? No.'

How cool that in all of our struggles, all of our frustrations, all of our desires and wishes and doubts, nothing is too hard for the Lord.

You want peace? It's not too hard for God.

You need a job? It's not too hard for God.

You are scared and worried about the future? A positive, peaceful outcome is not too hard for the Lord.

You need wisdom? It's not too hard for God.

You asked for the stupidest, littlest thing ever. It's not too hard for God.

I asked for a husband. It's not too hard for God.

His answers might not be our answers. His timing might not be our timing. His will may not be our will. But He knows best.

Praise God.

Obedience = intimacy... but how?

2012-01-15T14:10:00.000-08:00

So we are reading about Abram who was promised to be the Father of many nations and so on. But with reduced patience and still no sign of God fulfilling this promise, what did he do? Sleep with his wife's maidservant to hurry the process along and take matters into his own hands.

As I write this, it strikes me that woah, duh! What was Abram thinking?! God does not have second best for us! Neither does He want us to mess up in the process. If God is promising you something, yet you find yourself having to sin in order to get it, then it's probably not God's best for you and probably not the way He is fulfilling your promise. When God promises something He promises the best - not something we have to settle for, or make do with. He is God, and what good Father wants second best for his children?

Anyways, that was an aside. But my real question is this; how can we be obedient in the mean time? How can we hold on to these promises when it gets tough and we are tempted? How can we hold on and wait and be patient? How do we curb our frustrations and not give in? So, in reference to my previous blog - I believe God has promised me a husband. But at the current time, there is no sign of him. It doesn't mean I'm happy waiting - it's hard work! And I often get it wrong - how do I wait patiently and not settle for something or someone who isn't God's best? I still don't know. (And again, this is not a sob story, I'm not crying myself to sleep at night - I'm just bein honest!)

But what I do know is this;

In Genesis 17:1 God says 'I am God Almighty; walk before me and be blameless'.

It's good to know God encourages us in our frustrations. He is GOD, GOD ALMIGHTY! He knows what He's doing. Yes the frustration, disappointment and waiting around might be hard going, but God is God! He knows best. And so nice of Him to remind us and encourage us in that. So 1) Recognise who God is!

Next, and this is just my own personal perspective on this, God tells Abram to 'walk before' Him. Why not behind? Why not at the side? Why doesn't God carry Him? Surely that would be best seeing as he seems pretty worn out by this point. Yet, if God is behind and Abram is walking before Him, it means that Father God can catch Abram when he falls. God knows we are human and we mess up. But He is there to catch us when we do, and set us on our feet again. Furthermore, if He is behind us, He can encourage us, spur us on and shout after us to keep going. If He did this infront of us, His voice would not be heard. Not only this but I think God wants us to learn to stand on our own two feet and to use the strength He has given us, not just rely on Him to drag us along like a dog lagging behind it's owner on a lead. No that's not what God is about. Point 2) Listen to God's ecouragement, and know He is going to catch you if you fall.

Finally God says; 'be blameless'. Urgh. This is the hardest of the lot. But it's there. No getting round this one. No loop holes. No fancy way to get out of this. It's written there. Be blameless. Our struggles and frustrations and anger and annoyance at God's timing are not an excuse to sin. No. We must be holy and blameless in all of this. But we are told this with the hind sight of knowing that our great God is behind us waiting to catch us if we fall, and spurring us on to keep going. Praise God! What a good God we serve. So, 3) Just do it, be blameless.

In conclusion then, and in addition to not settling for second best whilst waiting for the fulfilment of God's promises, what can we do?

1) Recognise who God is!
2) Listen to God's ecouragement, and know He is going to catch you if you fall.
3) Just do it, be blameless.

And, in reference to my waiting for my knight in shining armour and to make this personal, because this is my journey after all, what can I do...?

1) Recognise who God is! - God knows! He is God! He has the best man for me ever! Why ruin it with the wrong one? He does not disappoint. He is faithful. He is true to His word. His word does not come back empty but accomplishes what it sets out to do! (Isaiah 55:11).

2) Listen to God's ecouragement, and know He is going to catch ME if I fall. - I can just imagine Him spurring me on... 'Come on Caroline, you can do this, I believe in you...' And 'ok, ok my grace is sufficient, let me pick you up, I'll dust you off and we can have another shot at this'.

3) Just do it, be blameless. Enough said.

Lift your eyes up

2012-01-11T15:24:00.000-08:00

Ok today I'm miserable again. It's happening a bit lately. And ok today I'm gonna be personal. This is about my journey and today my journey is tough, sorry folks. So I'm nearly 28. I'd love to settle down sometime soon, have kids, buy a house, get married... you know, that kinda thing (not necessarily in that order)! The truth is that actually I'm a wee bit sad because all of these things seem to be happening to everyone else but me. We aren't even 2 weeks into 2012 and already I've got 2 wedding invites (which happen to be the same weekend!). Already loads of my friends have recently got engaged. I need more that 2 hands and two feet to count off the number of weddings I've been to in the last 10 years. Today my housemate bought a house... The list goes on. I get sad. What is God playing at? Thing is, this isn't a sob story. This isn't a plea for sympathy or an attempt at a personal ad. No. This is actually pretty cool.

In Genesis 13v14 God says this to Abram after his nephew Lot left him and set off for pastures new... 'Lift your eyes up from where you are... All the land you see I will give to you and your offspring for ever'. Wow. Seriously, this made me think. How often do we look down at what we have and become dissatisfied. We get jealous of what we don't have instead of being thankful for what we do have. And we forget God's promises in the meantime. Look at what I do have - a great job, a roof over my head, a nice car, friends, family, a wealth of experiences, my amazing coffee pot that makes amazing coffee, my awesome fluffy animal print slippers with bows on top. No God hasn't blessed me with certain things yet. But I am blessed. He has a plan. And heck, if I was settled down with a husband and kids, I definitely wouldn't be writing this and being so inspired!

So let's take time to 'lift up our eyes' and be thankful for what we do have, not what we don't.

God keeps His promises

2012-01-10T10:57:00.000-08:00

There is so much in life that I often worry about, so many things I believe God has promised, so much truth I am yet to see.... I believe these things will happen but sometimes I actually get really down when I don't see any progress. I guess it's like Abram who was promised that he would be a 'great nation' (genesis 12v2), yet when, how, where, why... And really? When his wife was barren and he was getting old, was God really going to be faithful and true? YES! The Bible is full of genealogies and names of Abraham's (Abram) descendants. God is good and He is faithful to His promises even if He doesn't do things in our timing or the way we would. He knows best. His timing is perfect.

Hebrews 11:1 'now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.'

So, is God going to be faithful in our lives? YES!!! Even when we can't see any progress? YES!!!

New Noah's Ark

2012-01-08T08:31:00.000-08:00

Isn't it good when God talks to us through the Bible, despite the fact we may have read the story 100's of times. Instead of rolling our eyes and saying 'oh yeh, nice and easy quiet time today - I've read this one before...' lets look on our reading plans with fresh eyes...!

SO today what struck me the most from Genesis7 and 8 was the following:
1 - 7v24 - 8v1'The waters flooded the earth for a hundred and fifty days. But God remembered Noah and all of the wild animals'. Even in the midst of a natural disaster, world crisis, major disaster - God still remembers Noah - and us!

2 - Noah sent out a raven and another dove to test the water levels first, before the final dove went out and didnt return (Genesis 8v6-9). It is ok for us to 'test the waters'. Infact it's probably a good thing! If we are looking to move on, do something new, move house, start something new... it's ok to test the waters to test whether it is safe. And Noah had several failed attempts - it's not a bad thing if these doors shut, when we are testing out what to do next. We shouln't feel bad. It is ok!

3 - Despite the final dove not returning, thus proving it was ok to step out of the boat, Noah clearly waited for the all clear from God before just blindly presuming it was ok. A sensible man. Even though there may be signs and other people telling us the road is clear, or the path is safe... we should still wait for God's permission and all clear. He knows best.

Awesome.

New Year , New Start

2012-01-06T14:56:00.000-08:00

2012 already! Wow. New blog, new journal, my life is sorted! Or is it?

The start of a new year can bring about so many emotions and questions - excitement, apprehension, wonder, joy, fear... Will things be better this year? What is in store for me this year? Will I meet someone? Will I have kids? Will my job be stable this time next year...? What is God going to do? Will my family be ok? For some it can signify a fresh start, the making of resolutions to put things right, a positive outlook and a new chance. For others it can be the realisation that a new year does not always mean that lifes problems vanish overnight.

Wherever you are at and whatever 2012 has in store for you remember that God has a plan, a good plan, plans to prosper you and give you hope (Jeremiah 29:11). I've been trying to think of it as a new opportunity to right some of my wrongs, to have another go, it's almost like a blank canvas or a fresh start which God can take and fill with amazing things, and things which will challenge me, yet help me to grow in Him and in myself.

This week I read Genesis 1 about God creating the earth. Verses 2 - 3 say that 'the earth was formless and empty... and God said "let there be light" and there was light'. Sometimes life is full of amazement happiness and wonder. Other times it can seem almost 'formless' and 'empty' without purpose or meaning. But just look what God can do with it. Let Him fill it. Let Him refresh you. Let Him guide and direct you this year. Keep hoping and keep believing in Him - the Author and Perfector of our faith (Heb 12:2). He can do more than you can ask or imagine (Eph3:20).

Happy 2012!

Welcome to WCC Journey with God Blog`

2012-01-06T14:38:00.000-08:00

Hello fam! With our lives being so busy it's often difficult to find time to share together and help eachother out on our walk with God. So with the launch of our 'Journey With God Journals' we thought it would be a good idea to blog the journey too! Just another helpful and creative way of walking this together. We hope you will find encouragement, inspiration and food for thought to spur you on as we walk this together. And remember... Never walk alone!

Test

2012-01-06T11:40:00.001-08:00

This is a test blog entry!